Stargazer
by HollyBooth
Summary: Jacob's version of New Moon. So all Jacob lover's come read this.
1. The Birthday Present

A/N: To cut to the chase this is New Moon told from Jacobs's POV. And even though I don't support either Edward or Jacob, (I like them both), I hope I do justice to the characters. The only reason I'll be writing New Moon from Jacob's perspective is because to write it from Edwards POV would require a lot of research of the places Edward has been. That's too much work for even me who is known to be an overachiever.

But if I finish this story, I'll write one of the other stories from Edwards's eyes to be fair and objective.

This is definitely an enjoyable story to write and I hope it's easy on your eyes and brain.

So without further delay, here's Jacob.

Prologue

What's happening to me? What's wrong with me? Everyone was staring at me as if they were EXPECTING this to happen.

Why won't they tell me what's going on? Am I dying? If I am, I think that I should at least know before it happens. If this is death, the rumor that death is painless is a total and complete lie.

Sweat poured out of my every orifice. My heart is pounding in my throat and ears. My muscles and bones ache as if they are being broken and torn apart. My head pounded and every breath I took burned my lungs.

If I am dying, please someone have mercy and put me out of my misery! Please! God, if anyone gave a damn about me they would do this one thing for me! _Please!_

The Birthday Present

Something was amiss.

Paul hasn't been in school for the past couple of days. Rumors flew. Some people are saying that he'd dropped out of school, others that he'd contracted some weird unknown disease.

Oddly enough, it's the same thing that happened to Sam Uley. He just didn't come to school one day. But after a while he was seen in town, seemingly happy, healthy, and normal. So it's probably not the unknown disease that got to Paul.

Now don't get me wrong here, I personally don't like Sam or Paul. They ignore me, I ignore them. It's an unspoken agreement. I'm just worried that whatever it may be, will spread to the rest of La Push. Then all hell would break loose.

Not only would most of La Push be put under quarantine, but Bella wouldn't be allowed to come over either nor will I be able to visit her. Charlie would be so afraid of her catching something that he wouldn't want her to take the risk.

It's bad enough as it is that she barely comes over to say hi since she spends all her time with that Cullen guy. It's like she has an unhealthy obsession with him. It's kinda creepy actually.

I don't even know what she sees in him. His hair hasn't seen a comb in what looks like months and I don't think he's heard of something I like to call the sun. He seriously needs a tan. The only redeeming quality that I can see is that his family has money

Maybe that's why she never wanted to be with me. I don't have enough money for her. Granted, I'm not the most handsome guy in the world, but I have to be considerably more handsome than Cullen. At least I don't look like death warmed over.

I closed my eyes and rubbed slow, soothing circles on my temples. There has to be a way I can win Bella's heart. It's only gotten worse since she returned to Forks. I've had a crush on her since we were little kids. She always wore pigtails and I would push her on the swing.

But after her and her mother left, my feelings subsided, like a hibernating bear. But all hibernating animals awaken, and this, unfortunately, is no different.

I opened my eyes and stared around my room. Bella's birthday is only a couple of days away and I had to give her a better gift than Cullen.

Cullen will try to buy her something expensive, but if I know Bella like I think I do, she doesn't want people to spend money on her. So I'll do the opposite. I'll make her something. That would mean so much more than going to the store and laying your money down on the counter.

But I can't just make her a birthday card. That would be too simple. Anyone can do that, even Cullen!

I have to make something… unique, something memorable.

But what?

X-x-X-x-X

Six hours and two pots so coffee later, I was no closer to a gift idea than I was earlier.

I sighed. I can see why Cullen would buy something rather than giving her something he made. It's a lot easier to say the least.

I leaned back on the couch and stared at the television screen. Some killer was going around stabbing some damsel with a meat cleaver.

I couldn't help but laugh at the sheer irony of it. When I was a little kid I would lay in bed awake all night or would have nightmares because of this same movie. Nowadays the only thing that scares me is life. Life can be more of a nightmare than any old chop-'em-up horror movie ever could.

I laughed out loud. "That's it," I muttered to myself. "I've got the perfect gift. I just hope I have enough time to make it."

Let's see Cullen beat this.

X-x-X-x-X

I pulled a shaky hand through my hair. Usually I'm not a nervous guy. Especially when I'm just giving a birthday gift, but somehow, this seemed different. More important.

People were pulling into the schools parking lot already and even from where I was on the outskirts of the lot, I could hear people talking away happily, seemingly without a care in the world.

Cullen was the first one here. He was leaning against his car, and in all likelihood, waiting for the same person I am.

Even from where I was I could see that he was the picture of ease. His hands inside the front pockets of his jeans, the front of his flannel shirt opened to reveal a crisp undershirt.

What I'd like to know is why he isn't shivering. He was only wearing light clothing, and yet, I'm having a hard time staying warm with a thick coat and a couple of shirts on.

There was something weird about that guy, and I am determined to find out what.

As if I had yelled this declaration for all to hear, Cullen turned in my direction.

His face was hard and expressionless, his eyes said it all though: I am an unwelcomed visitor. My gaze never wavered from his. It was the battle of the wills and I was determined to win.

In the distance, I could hear the low rumble of the old Chevy coming down the road. I'm still thankful to this day that Charlie had taken that old rust bucket off my hands.

That truck had been a major embarrassment to drive in. Attention was always drawn to me because of the noise. It made me feel more than a little uncomfortable.

Bella pulled into the empty spot next to Cullen and turned off the engine. The door creaked open not much later and she stepped out.

She looked like a goddess. Her hair like brown silk flowed down her back, her skin perfect like a china doll. Her lips… well, they were definitely kissable. Even in the ugliest of clothing, her beauty would shine through.

I took a deep breath and kept my eyes on Bella, ignoring the fact that Cullen was watching my every move from beside her.

A small smile curved the corners of her lips when I finally reached them. Cullen looked murderous as he whispered something into Bell's ear. She nodded once, neither of them taking their eyes off of me. It was enough to give me a complex, if I were the sort of guy to get one, that is.

After one final whisper into Bella's ear, he turned on his heel and headed toward the main building.

The immediate thought that popped into my head after seeing that was that he was an arrogant, rude, son-of-a-

"Hi Jake," Bella said, smiling. It looked forced.

I looked down and smiled. "Hi Bella. It's been a while."

She sighed and looked awkwardly out of place. "Sorry, I've just been really busy lately."

She stared after Cullen's retreating form longingly. My heart fell ever so slightly. I was never going to get her undivided attention, was I?

I wrapped my fingers tighter around the dream catcher in my pocket.

I took a deep breath and removed the dream catcher. I made it this far, why not see it all the way through? "Happy Birthday, Bella."

Her mouth fell open slightly and I couldn't help but smirk. I was finally able to catch her by surprise. I've never been able to do that before.

She reached for it and tentatively rubbed her fingers over it. "Jake… you _really_ shouldn't have."

I scowled. "You don't like it?"

"No I love it!" She gently took it from my fingers. "It's beautiful."

I nodded once, unsure what to think. "Life is full of nightmares; your dreams shouldn't be riddled with them too."

She smiled. "Thanks Jake, this means a lot to me."

"It was no problem." The bell rang, loud and shrill. Students started ambling their way to their classrooms. "I should get going, Happy Birthday."

I turned and huddled closer to my coat. I still had no idea how to feel over what happened. She seemed to genuinely like what I gave her and yet… she seemed sad.

I know that she loves Cullen but she hasn't given anyone else a chance. Maybe it's time that I get her to open her eyes.

But if I'm going to that I'm going to have to take this up a notch.

So? How was it?

Review please. Constructive criticism is always welcomed.


	2. The Wish

**A/N: The second chapter is here. Enjoy.**

The Wish

I decided to just walk home instead of taking a cab. I needed the air to clear my head. I spent _days_ making that stupid dream catcher to get her to pay attention to me for once. But, as usual, she only paid attention to Cullen. It just didn't make sense to me.

I continued walking, with no destination in mind. My feet were already numb, maybe after a couple more miles my mind will be too.

The sky was darkening and the street lights came on in unison. The temperature must have dropped five degrees since this morning when I had gone to see Bella. La Push beach came into view, what a sight for sore eyes.

It instantly brought back memories of when Bella and I would play here. I remember one time we were racing along the edge of the beach by the water. Like always there were pieces of driftwood strewn here and there across the beach. Bella wasn't looking where she was going and she tripped over a big piece of wood. On the way down, she twisted her ankle and cut the entire length of her knee. Typical Bella.

It was a tossup over what would make her faint first: the pain in her ankle or the blood from the cut.

I carries her all the way home to my house that day so Billy could help her.

She hasn't changed much since we were little. She was always a lot smaller than me, always pale. I guess a good word for it would be fragile but if I was to say that to her, she'd throw a fit.

I sat down on the nearest piece of drift wood and dug my hands further into my pockets. The beach was dark except for the crescent moon hanging above the ocean.

Not much later I heard the crunching of footsteps behind me.

"Hey Jake," said a deep, husky familiar voice.

I turned in my seat. "Hi Embry," I turned back to face the relatively calm ocean.

"How did it go?" Embry asked sitting on the piece of driftwood I offered him.

I shrugged.

"It went that well huh?" He asked staring out at the ocean now.

I chuckled lowly to myself. "I definitely imagined it going better."

"Isn't that the way it usually goes?"

There was a comfortable silence between us then, both of us not saying a word. The only sound was the lapping of the waves against the beach.

Embry leaned his back against the large trunk of a tree and stared up at the sky. "Well, that's a miracle."

"What is?"

"The stars are out. You hardly ever see that."

"I've heard that rumor too," I couldn't help but be sarcastic. "I live here too you know. There's no need to state the obvious."  
He shrugged. "Ever since Bella came back you've seemed kinda out of it. You never seemed like the type to make time for trivial things like stars."

I leaned back to get a better look at him. "Why would I? They've never helped before. Why pay attention to them?"

"Because they're nice to look at. Rumor has it that the first star you see you can make a wish on and it'll come true."

I snorted. "I think one of my ex-girlfriends said that exact same thing to me a couple of years ago."

He leaned forward slightly. "Now why would you say that?"  
"Because you sound like a total girl right now," I couldn't help but laugh.

"Do you plan on kissing me under the stars in the moonlight big boy?" Embry nudged my elbow with his and fluttered his eyelashes at me.

I rolled my eyes. "You know, I've always dreamed of the day when I would kiss you. Not Bella, but you."

"I knew it! It was a plot to get closer to me and get my guard down all along!"

I laughed along with Embry. He always managed to find a way to lighten the mood.

I took a deep breath and leaned forward so my elbows and forearms were resting on my knees. I looked for the nearest star and kept my eyes on it.

"If I was to wish for anything, I'd wish for Edward Cullen to leave Bella the hell alone so I could at least have my chance with her. Just one chance, that's all I'd need."

I could feel Embry getting up from beside me. "You never know, it may come true."

"Yeah, I hope you're right."

"So am I" he lightly punched me in the arm. "See you later man."

I nodded once, never taking my eyes off the star. If only life was easy enough that all you had to do is wish on a star.

I don't have any idea how long I stared up at that star, thinking about the wish I made.

By the time I decided to go home, I was half-frozen and Billy had already gone to bed. I pulled a T.V. Dinner out of the freezer and popped it into the microwave. I was never the "cooking" type. Getting or making dinner consisted of getting take-out or sticking something in the microwave. Nothing more, nothing less.

I always loved eating homemade food when my mom was around. She always made the best Italian foods. But after my mom died and my sisters left, it's been T.V. dinners almost every night since. I don't know how to cook anything better.

The microwave beeped and I pulled back the plastic. I ate in silence, the only company I had was Lucy and Ricky Ricardo in an old "I Love Lucy" rerun.

My mind kept going over the day's events and I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that tomorrow wouldn't be any better.


	3. The Confrontation

**A/N: Here's the next installment my lovelies. Things only get better from here.**

The Confrontation

Billy was up early the next morning which wasn't a good sign. He normally slept in which meant only one thing: I did something wrong and I was going to get a lecture about it.

I flipped on the switch to the coffee maker and sat down in front of him. His face was calm, expressionless. His eyes never moved from mine. Cullen had nothing in the staring department compared to my father.

After what seemed like hours he finally spoke. "I heard you didn't show up for school yesterday."

I reached over and poured myself some coffee. "Nothing gets by them," I muttered.

"No one likes school Jacob, but you must go. You can't play hooky just because you don't feel like going."

I stared down at my mug. "I had things to do yesterday."

"Like what?"

I didn't want to go into the specifications about yesterday. It would be too embarrassing talking about my failure of getting Bella's attention.

"Couldn't it have been done at a later time? After school preferably," he asked after it was clear that I was giving no answer.

I shook my head slowly. That would have been mental torture. I would've been thinking of a million and one ways for Bella to react to my gift. No matter what, my mind wouldn't be on my work, whether I was there physically or not, so why my and the teacher's time?

I could hear Billy straightening himself up in his wheelchair. "I don't want to get anymore phone calls from the school that you're skipping classes."

I looked up from my mug. "Everyone skips classes at least once in their life."

"You've skipped classes more than once, Jake."

I snorted. "Wow, I skipped classes twice! The whole world's going to end because of it!"

Billy leaned forward in his chair, his eyes no longer hiding his anger. "I don't care if everyone skips ten times in their life, Jacob. You won't be"

I shook my head in astonishment. I can't believe that I'm hearing this from a man that dropped out of high school when he was my age.

"You need to be responsible Jacob," he continued, "Or I may have to follow through with my original plan."

My mouth fell open. For years he'd been thinking about sending me to a boarding school. He thought that it would be better education for me and that I could meet more people that way, instead of just being friends with a few of the guys in La Push.

He ran a hand through his long black hair. "Now I'd hate to do that to you Jacob, But if I think that's what needs to be done to make you fly right, I'll do it; Regardless of the cost."

Anger rose in me like a tidal wave. "You can't make me leave! I have friends here!"

"I wouldn't want you to go, but if it means saving you from a life with no future, I'll do what I have to."

"You can't always protect me. One of these days I'm going to leave and you won't be around to 'save' me!"

"Until that time comes, I'll do whatever I can to raise you right; Even if it means protecting you from yourself."

"You mean like you did with Mom?"

I instantly regretted saying that. Billy sat back in his chair and his eyes had softened. Billy was never on for tears but at the moment he looked like he could cry.

"I didn't mean that," I looked down at my half finished cup of coffee. The topic of my mother had always been a touchy one since she passed. "I was just getting…"

He nodded once. "I understand. No need to explain," He looked out the window above the sink. "You better get going before you're late for school."

I grabbed my book bag from the floor and walked toward the door. I felt horrible just leaving him there after almost making him cry, but it would cause more damage if I stayed.

I pulled my I-Pod out a pocket in my book bag and drowned my problems: Bella, Billy… life in general, in screeching guitars and banging drums, not particularly caring what the song was or what the singer was singing about.

**Review please!**


	4. The Call

**A/N: Sorry that it took so long. I was having some technical difficulties. **

The Call

I stepped off the bus to La Push High with a pounding headache and nearly dead iPod. I sighed and took the ear buds out of my ears. Not only did I manage to hurt Billy, but I can't even distract myself with the iPod. This day just keep getting better and better. What else can possibly can go wrong?

"Hi Jake," a very feminine voice said from my right side. I looked over to see Leah Clearwater staring up at me like I was the best thing since the Toaster Strudel.

I resisted the urge to groan. Conversations with Leah were more than a little awkward these days.

"Hi Leah," I said trying to sound cheerful. "What's up?"

She hooked her arm through mine. "Tonight I was planning on ordering some pizza and having a movie marathon. Wanna come over?"

I searched my mind frantically for an excuse, any excuse, that will allow me to get out of this but let her down easy.

"Sorry Leah, but I plan on working on my car tonight." This wasn't a complete lie, I've been working on a Volkswagen Rabbit I had acquired not too long ago. The outside looks good, the inside, however, could use some work.

She raised a pencil thin eyebrow at me. "Really? When did you get a car? I thought you sold the truck."

"I did, to Bella."

She snorted. "Shows how smart she is. She bought a piece of junk for a couple hundred dollars."

"That truck was in pretty good shape actually. I made sure that it was before I allowed Charlie to take it home," I couldn't help but sound indignant. "And Bella _is_ really smart. Probably smarter than you."

She stopped in her tracks. "Don't be so defensive. It's not as if you two are an item or anything."

"We will be if I have anything to say about it," I muttered.

"What was that?"

I shook my head. "Nothing."

I could feel her grip on my arm loosen slightly. "So tonight is definitely a no?"

I nodded. "Sorry Leah."

She shrugged nonchalantly. "It's fine. Maybe next time."

"Maybe."

She laughed lowly to herself.

When she saw the puzzled look on my face she spoke in between giggles. "You know, I would say you should come over, I don't bite, but I can't promise to resist that temptation with you around."

I rolled my eyes. "Very funny Leah."

Her arm fell from mine as she stared at me defiantly. "It was too."

"That sucked."

She lifted her chin arrogantly. " I beg to differ."

I looked down at my watch to give a subtle hint. "The bell's about to ring so I better head to class."

She smiled. "Ok, I'll see you later," she stood up on her tiptoes and pecked my cheek lightly. "Bye Jakey!"

I raised an eyebrow at her slowly retreating figure. "Jakey? Seriously?" I haven't been called that since I was two, I think by my sister.

I shook my head slowly from side to side as I went into my classroom. Something was seriously wrong with that girl, and I'm not sure if I want to know what.

8-8-8-8-8

Billy was on the phone in the living room when I got home from school. His brow was furrowed in intense concentration.

I dropped my bad near the entryway of the kitchen and opened the door to the refrigerator in search of something to eat.

Less than a minute passed before I heard Billy hang up the phone and wheel his wheelchair to the kitchen.

I pulled out some roast beef cold cuts and the mayonnaise. "Hey Dad. Who was that on the phone just now?"

When he didn't answer I turned from the fridge to look at him. He looked concerned and anxious.

"What happened?"

He sighed. "That was Charlie. He said Bella hasn't been home for a couple of hours now."

"Maybe she went out with some friends after school," I said hopefully.

He shook his head. "She left a note saying that she was going to take a walk with Edward. He wants us to help look for her and to gather other recruits if possible."

I dropped the knife I was holding. If Cullen had done anything to her there was going to be hell to pay, and a whole lot of it!"

I pulled out my phone and dialed Quil's number. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey man, what's up?"

"Get to my house as fast as possible."

"Why?"

I could feel my anger rising. "Just do it! Now!"

**A/N: So? What did you think?**

**Did it suck?**

**Didi it rock?**

**Review please!!!!!**


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